.·´¯`·->♥Étè®ÑãL MìÑÐ øƒ ã FlãWêD ThøùGhT♥<-·´¯`·.™

I received a book from Ian's sister Jen just  before I left for Nova Scotia. At first I thought, hm, what a strange book to receive, this is a child's book! Wrong! It's for everyone, whether you're a college graduate, or a nursery school grad. I felt a sense of peace almost just from reading this. It gave me that extra boost to overcome the obstacles I'd run into along the way.

Inside the book, she wrote the following:

Amanda,

To you on the day when you fly away,.

Good things left behind, will be elsewhere to find,

Amongst all the fablor.

You're off to Bridgewater!

Your new life awaits

As your old life abates.

I, too, will use this book for my children, in hopes they'll find inspiration. Read it. You, too, will read and find that inner strength to keep going. Great things await!

Congratulations!
Today is your day.
You're off to Great Places!
You're off and away!

You have brains in your head.
You have feet in your shoes
You can steer yourself
any direction you choose.
You're on your own. And you know what you know.
And YOU are the guy who'll decide where to go.

You'll look up and down streets. Look 'em over with care.
About some you will say, "I don't choose to go there."
With your head full of brains and your shoes full of feet,
you're too smart to go down any not-so-good street.

And you may not find any
you'll want to go down.
In that case, of course,
you'll head straight out of town.

It's opener there
in the wide open air.

Out there things can happen
and frequently do
to people as brainy
and footsy as you.

And when things start to happen,
don't worry. Don't stew.
Just go right along.
You'll start happening too.

OH!
THE PLACES YOU'LL GO!

You'll be on your way up!
You'll be seeing great sights!
You'll join the high fliers
who soar to high heights.

You won't lag behind, because you'll have the speed.
You'll pass the whole gang and you'll soon take the lead.
Wherever you fly, you'll be the best of the best.
Wherever you go, you will top all the rest.

Except when you don' t
Because, sometimes, you won't.

I'm sorry to say so
but, sadly, it's true
and Hang-ups
can happen to you.

You can get all hung up
in a prickle-ly perch.
And your gang will fly on.
You'll be left in a Lurch.

You'll come down from the Lurch
with an unpleasant bump.
And the chances are, then,
that you'll be in a Slump.

And when you're in a Slump,
you're not in for much fun.
Un-slumping yourself
is not easily done.

You will come to a place where the streets are not marked.
Some windows are lighted. But mostly they're darked.
A place you could sprain both you elbow and chin!
Do you dare to stay out? Do you dare to go in?
How much can you lose? How much can you win?

And IF you go in, should you turn left or right...
or right-and-three-quarters? Or, maybe, not quite?
Or go around back and sneak in from behind?
Simple it's not, I'm afraid you will find,
for a mind-maker-upper to make up his mind.

You can get so confused
that you'll start in to race
down long wiggled roads at a break-necking pace
and grind on for miles across weirdish wild space,
headed, I fear, toward a most useless place.
The Waiting Place...

...for people just waiting.
Waiting for a train to go
or a bus to come, or a plane to go
or the mail to come, or the rain to go
or the phone to ring, or the snow to snow
or waiting around for a Yes or a No
or waiting for their hair to grow.
Everyone is just waiting.

Waiting for the fish to bite
or waiting for wind to fly a kite
or waiting around for Friday night
or waiting, perhaps, for their Uncle Jake
or a pot to boil, or a Better Break
or a sting of pearls, or a pair of pants
or a wig with curls, or Another Chance.
Everyone is just waiting.

NO!
That's not for you!

Somehow you'll escape
all that waiting and staying.
You'll find the bright places
where Boom Bands are playing.

With banner flip-flapping,
once more you'll ride high!
Ready for anything under the sky.
Ready because you're that kind of a guy!

Oh, the places you'll go! There is fun to be done!
There are points to be scored. there are games to be won.
And the magical things you can do with that ball
will make you the winning-est winner of all.
Fame! You'll be famous as famous can be,
with the whole wide world watching you win on TV.

Except when they don't.
Because, sometimes, they won't.

I'm afraid that some times
you'll play lonely games too.
Games you can't win
'cause you'll play against you.

All Alone!
Whether you like it or not,
Alone will be something
you'll be quite a lot.

And when you're alone, there's a very good chance
you'll meet things that scare you right out of your pants.
There are some, down the road between hither and yon,
that can scare you so much you won't want to go on.

But on you will go
though the weather be foul
On you will go
though your enemies prowl
On you will go
though the Hakken-Kraks howl
Onward up many
a frightening creek,
though your arms may get sore
and your sneakers may leak.

On and on you will hike
and I know you'll hike far
and face up to your problems
whatever they are.

You'll get mixed up, of course,
as you already know.
You'll get mixed up
with many strange birds as you go.
So be sure when you step.
Step with care and great tact
and remember that Life's
a Great Balancing Act.
Just never forget to be dexterous and deft.
And never mix up your right foot with your left.

And will you succeed?
Yes! You will, indeed!
(98 and 3 / 4 percent guaranteed.)

KID, YOU'LL MOVE MOUNTAINS!

So...
be your name Buxbaum or Bixby or Bray
or Mordecai Ali Van Allen O'Shea,
you're off to Great Places!
Today is your day!
Your mountain is waiting.
So...get on your way!

---Dr. Seuss

I can get some cleaning done! When Ian has a couple days off, which isn't very often, I do not get anything done. It goes both ways. He could have done some work on the basement, the basement has been in ruins since like January, it's unorganized and all the walls have been knocked down to provide us with a bigger livable space. It's really annoying actually, but when I an and have days TOGETHER, we spend that time together and do a whole lot of nothingness. Well obviously taking care of the kids, but household chores sits untouched. Very bad habit, we MUST get out of now. Well, he just left 10 mins ago and I am in full cleaning mode. I am not actually sitting here typing out a blog, it is only a figment of your imagination. And when you leave a comment you will realize later that you left a comment on absolutely nothing. I think you should really get that checked out. I know you enjoy my random blabber, but thinking I wrote something when I actually so did not, is not a healthy thing. Yeeeesss.

So I have been thinking, a lot. Sometimes I write things in the spur of the moment, you know when you want to send a nasty email and they say to wait 24 hours before sending it, then once those 24 hours pass you usually have a change of heart? My last blog, same idea. I thought about what I said, and although I stand true in my beliefs and respect is a very big part of it. I did recognize that she was a good mother to her boys. THAT is the most important. No one is perfect, no one is a perfect parent and I have to realize that. I think for the most part of a lot of how I think and feel comes from my own shortcomings. I am a perfectionist and it's not always a good thing. I fear so much that my kids will turn out to be horrible teenagers, which will leave me wondering, what did I do wrong? What could I have done differently? I need to stop that! I need to enjoy TODAY, I need to become more relaxed. Not worry so much about the future, because there may not be a future. It is time to stay focused. Shake it off.  And that means just loving my kids, myself, my partner and life. Well, there's clearly no doubt that I love myself...pfft...I love me more than a kid loves cake. Kidding. So yah, if they turn out to be the good adults I hope they turn out to be, then that is awesome.

Ava  Mae -  What a doll, seriously. She is just amazing, even more so than I ever could have imagined. I really thought I was destined to have boys, my dreams of having a girl seemed to be just that. A dream. I still cannot believe I have her. She wakes me up every morning between 5 and 6, I feed her and then she goes off to sleep for a couple hours. Then throughout the day, I do stuff around the house (when Ian isn't home, lol) she naps about